


Ease a Troubled Mind

by aislingdoheanta



Series: Intimate Conversations [3]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV), Spartacus: Vengeance
Genre: Canon Era Fic, Episode 2.03 fic, Episode: The Greater Good, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Agron tilted his head. “I only meant to keep them from the dangers of a mission to the mines where death certainly awaits them.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Nasir shook his head. “You believe your actions just in order to save the many, but you do not think of those you wrong as well.”</i>
</p><p>In the wake of learning Naevia's fate, Agron questions his decision after speaking with Nasir.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ease a Troubled Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is my excuse as explaining why Nasir chose to follow Agron's lead and then later tell Crixus the truth. Also, there's a little scene in this episode with Agron just looking lost in his own thoughts and I believe it to be because he was thinking over his decision again. 
> 
> Agron and Nasir's relationship seems to develop more emotionally than physically at first and it seems to be because they talked together, as Chadara suggests. This sort of just feel into place.

Nasir had not spoken a word to Agron since their interaction that morning, though they had been together the entire day making preparations for Vesuvius. He simply did as Agron asked and worked on packing away the necessary items they would need. To Agron, Nasir's silence felt like that of a physical blow. 

It was unnerving to Agron. He was a man who spoke more often with his fists or sword than words, but that had begun changing since the Syrian had joined their cause. He was a man who knew nothing of the horrors of the ludus, though Agron was sure he knew his own share of miseries that came with slavery. 

He found peace in the man's quiet company. They way he took everything in, asked questions of Agron he would not ask anyone else. Mostly about fighting and battle and whether it becomes easier with time. Nasir was the first person since his brother that he felt a connection with. Something he was still unfamiliar with.

Agron believed it to have started the night he attempted to take Spartacus' life and he watched him struggle, in vain, against the arms that held him. It reminded him of the spirit he had longed to keep after being sold to Batiatus. Then seeing him the next day training with Spartacus, Nasir again caught his attention. There was a determined focus to his gaze and Agron was sure that had he been close enough to see his eyes, they would have reflected the same spirit and fire Nasir had shown the night before. 

Though it wasn't until later that night, when they spoke for the first time, that Agron admitted a connection, though only to himself. It was hearing that the Syrian believed himself more Roman than his own heritage that caused him to question if he remembered anything of his past life. In the ludus, memories of the past were the only things that kept him fighting. And to learn that this man had also lost a brother, though undoubtedly not as Agron had, was another connection he felt to the man. 

Once Nasir told Agron his true name, there was no more denying.

They worked in silence throughout the day, though Agron continued to try and prod some words from the troubled man. He worked to no avail. Though he felt the Syrian's eyes on him at times and felt as though Nasir would speak if something was not stopping him. 

He tried to reassure the Syrian through lingering looks during Spartacus' speech and Crixus', but he did not believe it worked. Though he wanted to change that, to find out what it was that troubled his mind so. 

He grabbed his arm as he attempted to leave once the men were done speaking. “Nasir, I would have words,” he said quietly. 

Nasir only nodded and allowed himself to be guided to the side, away from the others. He simply looked at Agron, waiting for him to speak first. 

Agron pulled him closer, hoping to keep out those who would wish to overhear. “What is it that troubles you so?” 

Nasir looked at him. “You ask a question you do not understand.” 

Agron narrowed his eyes. “Then I would have you explain it.” 

Nasir looked away and clenched his jaw, but did not speak. Agron silently cursed that this man was still held prisoner by a slave mind. 

Agron let his grip slide down the man's arm until he released him. “Speak plainly. There is no need to hide your thoughts.” 

Nasir looked back at him and took a breath. “You ask what troubles me because you do not understand why I did not agree with you in actions against Crixus.” 

Agron tilted his head. “I only meant to keep them from the dangers of a mission to the mines where death certainly awaits them.”

Nasir shook his head. “You believe your actions just in order to save the many, but you do not think of those you wrong as well.” 

“I merely attempt to save lives,” Agron said. _Your life._

Nasir nodded. “That is clear, but you do not think of those who believe it worth the risk.” 

“Why could it possibly be worth the risk?” Agron asked him. “Surely they would know that there is little chance of escaping with life.” 

“Matters of the heart are not so easily determined by thought alone,” Nasir told him. “You see this as a battle that will not be won, yet to Crixus and others it would be a matter of rescuing one they love from further suffering. The thought of that outweighs any concern over loss of life.” 

Agron sighed and rubbed a hand through his short hair. “You speak as though you have experience.” 

“Not in this manner, but I understand.” He looked at Agron then, meeting his eyes. “If there was one I loved and there was the smallest chance I could rescue them from their suffering, I would take it and pray to the gods I would be successful. Even if it cost my life, I would take comfort in knowing they were safe.” 

Agron looked away and tried to keep his thoughts from his brother. Had he made a grave mistake?

“You only saw to save the lives of your brothers and there is not fault in that,” Nasir said quietly. 

“You would have told him?” Agron asked. “You would have told him his Naevia was trapped in the mines after being passed from dominus to dominus?”

Nasir looked away, his hands clenched behind his back. “I know not what I would have done. I only know that, if I was Crixus, I would wish to know my beloved's fate, if only for an attempt at peace.” Nasir sighed and let his hands fall to his sides. “Either in death or reunion.” 

Nasir held his eyes for a moment before walking away and leaving Agron to his thoughts. 

Agron himself went to the corner where he could keep watch over others as he thought about what Nasir had said. 

Nasir spoke with conviction when he voiced his thoughts, though he led with his heart, something that was always dangerous in battle. Something he had learned the hard way. 

Agron thought of his brother. 

His foolish brother that he spent his entire life trying to protect, and failed to do when he turned the tables and saved him. 

Is that not what Nasir had been speaking of? That an attempt to save one that you loved was worth every price demanded, even one of life itself?

Agron knew that, if it had been the other way around, he would have given his life to save his brother's without a second thought. It mattered not what the afterlife held, so long as his brother was still alive. 

There in lies the difference that Nasir could not see. If he had spoken the truth of Naevia's fate, it would not only cost Crixus' life, but those who would stand by him in his foolish attempt at rescue. The Gauls would no doubt join their leader and their numbers would be cut. Spartacus would likely join the Gaul due to promises made between them. If Spartacus went and fell, their cause would be no more for their leader, both of their leaders though Agron was loathe to admit it, would be dead. 

He leaned his head against the wall and stared out blankly before him. He took no interest in those around him. He could only gaze at the empty space in front of him and let his thoughts wander as prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that he had made the correct decision. 

Though he was beginning to doubt himself more and more. 

Suddenly there was a presence at his side and he turned to see Nasir sitting beside him. “Your thoughts consume you,” he said quietly. 

“Your words gave much pause.” He turned his eyes back on the mass of people before him. 

“Apologies, I never--”

“No apologies needed, Nasir. You spoke freely and with meaning. While your words offer no comfort, they hold truth that I could not see.” Agron told him. 

“Would that I not have caused you doubt,” Nasir said and turned to follow Agron's gaze. “What is it that holds your attention?” 

“Nothing in this world. It is thought and memory that captures the mind.” 

Nasir nodded, but asked no questions. 

“You stood by me,” Agron said suddenly. “Though you did not agree with my decision, why?” 

Nasir looked at him and Agron felt drawn to his gaze. “I am no warrior, nor do I have the mind for battle. I believed you to have made the proper choice for your people.” 

“And now?” 

Nasir did not break his gaze. “I believe you still hold best intention for your people, though gone about in the wrong way.” 

Agron broke the gaze and sighed. “Would that you have spoken sooner.” 

“I did not wish to cause conflict.” 

Agron laughed, though it was sad. “You are a free man now, Nasir. Free to speak your mind,” he looked back at him. “And act as you desire. You no longer have to bow to the whims of any man.” _Including me,_ he added mentally. 

Agron dropped his eyes again and fixed them on his hand. Though he wanted Nasir's support for reasons he had yet to understand, he would not have Nasir follow him only because he feared to do otherwise. 

Nasir nodded. “Even if it disagrees with those from east of the Rhine?” 

Agron glanced back at him and saw a smile gracing his lips. It was infectious and he quickly found himself smiling as well. “Especially then, for those thoughts tend to only be partly formed before spoken.” 

Nasir laughed. “That is a trait common in most men, not only those from the East.” 

Agron nodded. “You speak with conviction when I am lacking. Gratitude.” 

“I only wished to ease my mind and learn the path of yours,” Nasir responded. 

“Is your mind still troubled?” 

“It is the heart that troubles for the witness of Crixus' suffering,” Nasir admitted. 

Agron shifted his eyes to all those in front of him. “Do what you must to ease your suffering.”

Nasir nodded and remained quiet, obviously in thought. 

“You should rest for there is much to be done in preparation for leave in the morning,” Agron told him. 

“As should you.” Nasir stood. “I hope sleep brings peace to your thoughts.” 

“And to your heart,” Agron told him as he walked back to his place he had claimed as his own. He hoped that, come morning, their doubts and troubles would be eased.

**Author's Note:**

> I have quite a few of these roaming around my brain which I will no doubt write out completely.


End file.
